Soft Life, Hard Lessons: Orbiting, Audacity, and Trusting Your Gut

The Evergreen Echo

Welcome back to the laboratory. This week, the research is clear: the “Great Fade-Out" has been replaced by the "Great Orbit," and frankly, I’m running out of space in my atmosphere for all this funk.

Lately, my spirit has been calling me out on my tolerances with low-effort and overly sexual men, and I finally leaned in. You know that feeling in your gut? That little tug that says “Girl, I cannot” even when he’s kissing your hand? It wasn’t the bubble guts; that was my nervous system saying, ‘This is a dusty wrapped up like a gentleman.’

Take The TikTok Orbiter. This man stays in my notifications, lighting up my timeline. When I post a video, he likes it. I post a photo, he sends a heart or heart eyes. Then comes the impulsive text to my personal cell: “You’re such a good catch.” Now, on paper, that’s a compliment. But in reality? It’s a fishing line with no hook. He calls me a "catch" but lacks the finesse to pull the net in. He wants the view without the hike. He’s orbiting…staying close enough to keep my attention, but far enough to avoid any actual effort. My spirit says: If he wanted to see you, he’d make a plan and come see you.

Then we have The Potsticker. This one only reaches out when he’s craving access, but let’s be clear: a potsticker is just an appetizer; it’ll never be a whole meal, and it certainly won't sustain a woman like me. I was explicit. I was firm. I told him the door was closed and my interest had faded.

And yet, there he is, sending paragraph after paragraph with the unearned confidence of a teenager: 'Even though you have a man, can I see you tonight and be nasty?' Sir, I don't even want you in the daylight, let alone the dark! He was blowing up my phone with more unwanted offers than a desperate telemarketer. My gut didn’t just whisper this time; it stood up and shouted, 'Get off my line!' I am the Waldorf Astoria and you are giving Motel 6 accommodations! No thank you!

Finally, let’s talk about Hospitable Hal. This one is a whole oxymoron. He invited me into his home, made me feel accommodated, and even asked for my shoe size. My shoe size! It’s a 9.5—I’m a woman who stands firm on her own two feet. Naturally, I leaned into my vulnerability. I bought gummy bears, his favorite action figure, and even sat down to write a handwritten card (and I loathe my penmanship). I was determined to show up as my full, giving self.

But the hospitality ended after we ate dinner. When I called him out on his selfish behavior, the hospitality turned into a ghost story. He didn’t want a partner; he wanted a fan who didn't ask questions. I looked like a whole fool with a pen in my hand, but the lesson was worth the ink: Stop giving second chances to a person who intends to humble you. He didn't want my heart; he wanted to see if he could break my spirit while I was being nice. My 9.5 foundation is too solid for a man who plays ghost after playing house.

Soft Life Lesson of the Month

Your gut is the bodyguard of your peace. When a man orbits without intention, or texts with pure audacity, or performs kindness only to ghost you when things get real…believe your first instinct.

We are not catches to be admired from a distance. We are not options to be checked on at midnight. We are 5-star experiences that require a reservation and a confirmed itinerary.

I’m done buying gummy bears for men who can't even provide consistency. Nor am I writing a sappy greeting card. From now on, if it doesn't feel like peace, it can kick rocks with an open-toed shoe.

The Evergreen Echo

Closing Thoughts

If there is one thing I’ve learned in this 'Soft Life Laboratory,' it’s that discernment is the highest form of self-care. We have to stop quiet-firing our intuition just because a man knows how to play a part or ask the right questions.

Whether he’s orbiting your TikTok like a lonely satellite, acting like a salty potsticker while you’re trying to enjoy your peace, or offering you a seat at a table he hasn't even bothered to set, please believe your gut the first time it speaks.

A man who truly belongs in your life won't require you to be a detective, a mind-reader, or a gift-giver to a ghost. He will move with a clarity that matches your own. Until then, keep your heart full, your boundaries high, and your hands far from the download button.

I’m walking into the rest of this year with my head high and my 9.5 foundation firm. Because baby, I’m a 5-star experience and I’ve officially closed the kitchen on anything mid-tier.

See you in two weeks! Stay soft, stay sharp, and for heaven's sake, stop buying gummy bears for men who bring nothing but empty hands.