Soft Life, Hard Lessons: The Archetypes of the Ascent
I look back at the years between those two endings, and I see three specific archetypes. These weren't just men; they were tutors who held up mirrors to my soul, helping me identify the high-caliber requirements I didn't know I was allowed to have.
Trans* Talk: T4T Relationships
I entered my first T4T relationship in September of 2024, and it completely changed my perspective on what love could be. It obviously doesn’t hurt that my partner is one of the funniest, kindest, and smartest men I know, but a big part of our relationship is built on our experience as Trans* people. For me, a relationship with another Trans* person, whether that relationship is platonic, romantic, or otherwise, has its own unique perspective and feeling, one that is inaccessible for me in a cis relationship. But I know that not all Trans* individuals have this experience, so I sought out members of my community to share their input on T4T love.
Soft Life, Hard Lessons: The Ghost of 22
It wasn't until my life was threatened that I found the boldness to move. I learned that staying isn't succeeding if you are being annihilated in the process. It is always, always okay to leave a table where love is no longer being served—even if you’re the one who set the place.
Trans* Talk: SweeThe4rTs Art Show
On February 13, Common Objects opened its doors for SweeThe4rts, a T4T art show and market, created by the Trans community, for the Trans community to share art centered on the relationships between Trans folks.
Soft Life, Hard Lessons: The Luxury of Letting Go
“Whatever you’re doing, keep doing it. You look ten years younger.”
That’s what a man told me recently, and I had to smile. He didn’t know he was looking at a woman who had survived a tsunami. He didn’t know that just as I had finished a hard, honest conversation with myself about the state of my marriage, a hidden betrayal hit me with a force that nearly annihilated me. I had no time to brace for the impact; I just had to decide if I was going to swim or float away aimlessly.
Soft Life, Hard Lessons: Orbiting, Audacity, and Trusting Your Gut
Welcome back to the laboratory. This week, the research is clear: the “Great Fade-Out" has been replaced by the "Great Orbit," and frankly, I’m running out of space in my atmosphere for all this funk.
Soft Life, Hard Lessons: Swipe Left on My Spirit
Let me bring you into my soft-life laboratory, because post-divorce dating has a sense of humor I did not sign up for. I told myself I’d try something new. Stretch my faith. Dip a toe into modern romance.
So I downloaded Bumble and Hinge.
Yes. Me.
A grown woman with three children, all my edges, rooted faith, and a therapist who said, “We ain’t taking this ish into 2026.”
Soft Life, Hard Lessons: The Price of Peace
So here I am: rebuilding, relearning, re-everything. Washington State, bless its procedural little heart, makes you wait a full 90 days before you can even finalize a divorce. Raggedy. I could’ve been free by now, had my soon-to-be-ex not spent nine rounds avoiding the process server like it was tag at recess. So yes, I’m irritated.
I winced when my therapist—a doctor, mind you—named him a narcissist who love-bombed me at the beginning. You could’ve held my hand for that, sis.
