An Ode to the Occidental Square Ice Rink

Gray's friend Lena pushes her around on a dolphin-shaped sled at the “ice” rink.

The Evergreen Echo

Earlier this month, I met a few friends in Occidental Square to go ice skating. Even though I was the organizer of this event, I knew very little. In fact, all I knew was that there was a free ice rink and free skate rentals, and I had thought, “I love a free holiday activity.”

In the afternoon, I trekked to the #5 bus stop near my apartment. There was a break in the dismal cloud cover and a bit of sunlight shone through. It was unusually warm (around 50 degrees), and when I got on the bus, I noticed some people were wearing shorts. 

Several people who had initially expressed interest canceled at the last minute (and I don’t blame them knowing what I know now; they had probably done more research). And so it was a small but mighty group of three who ended up at the rink. The first thing we noticed was that the rink, which was correctly advertised online as 40’ by 80,’ was both incredibly small and also incredibly popular. The line extended around two corners of the square. We decided, rationally, that we would wait until the line got shorter (the line would never get shorter). 

Another thing we noticed was that there seemed to be several different groups of people in Santa costumes bar-hopping around the square. We asked around, trying to determine if this was a “SantaCon” situation, but no one seemed to know the origin of the Santas, or even why they themselves were dressed as Santa.

We spent some time browsing the art, food vendors, and small businesses at the Holiday Trading Post happening simultaneously on the other side of the square. I tried vegan biscuits and gravy made with a miso base (fabulous) and bought some weird little pins, while my friend thrifted a shirt from the $5 bin. Also, the porta-potties were surprisingly clean. 

Holiday Trading Post in Occidental Square

The Evergreen Echo

Finally, we got up the courage to go stand in the skating line. It took around 45 minutes to get around the corner. During this time, we watched drunken people in Santa suits play ping pong next to us and also spent a good amount of time handing the balls back to them. 

At the front of the line, the staff asked for our skate sizes. I said 9, and they handed me a 9 ½ men’s size skate, which my foot swam around in, so I had to go back. This same issue happened to a woman in front of me in line—she was also a 9, but had to keep downsizing, and they didn’t have enough in smaller sizes to accommodate. Eventually, she and a bunch of others resorted to putting plastic covers over their shoes and sliding around on those. 

Meanwhile, whenever someone returned skates to the staff, they would spray them with a quick little puff of Lysol which, as we were standing at the front of the line for quite some time, began to make me feel a tad nauseous. My friend Amy Lou remarked it was a bit of a “demons, be gone” action: the demons, of course, being foot sweat.

Then we arrived on the “ice,” which was made of plastic slab puzzle pieces fit together. I had never skated on synthetic ice, but I assumed that it would feel similar to real ice, and at least be slippery and smooth enough for skates to move on. 

Gray hangs onto a penguin sled for dear life

The Evergreen Echo

Incorrect. The ice was filled with deep rivulets and small abrasions, a plasticky web of scratchy lines that would trap your skate blades and stop you from moving. I took one step, and nearly toppled onto my back. The next step did not get any easier. And mind you, I grew up playing pond hockey on very uneven real ice. This was truly another level of challenge. “This is the saddest thing,” Amy Lou remarked with a laugh.

There was one person doing laps around the rink with speed and grace and not falling on her back every three steps like the rest of us. I jealously wondered if she had brought her own skates, and if the blades had been sharpened, unlike our dull footwear. Someone told me that this is what professional figure skaters train on, which confused me even more. Because HOW??

We quickly realized that the children in the rink were onto something. They had flocked to the right back side of the rink, where there was a line of sleds and carts shaped like different animals stacked up and ready to be pushed around. I grabbed one shaped like a penguin that I held onto with an iron grip. Leaning on one of these bad boys, my chances of making it in a full circle without falling went down significantly. My personal highlight of the afternoon was when my friend Lena opted to push me around on a sled shaped like a green dolphin. In that moment, I felt true freedom. I was flying.

As I rode the bus home, my phone dead, I had the luxury of having nothing to do but reflect on my time at the Occidental Square ice rink. I determined that I would not be returning next year, but that I would cherish the collective camaraderie of knowing that I shared in a truly mediocre but not un-fun experience with a bunch of strangers. 

May you make it through the holidays and hopefully smile a little bit, too.