I have realized that my heart, the very center of my desire, has the amazing capacity to recognize beauty in more than one mirror. I find myself in a season I never expected: navigating deep feelings while standing firmly on newly discovered ground. This wasn’t a planned destination; I didn’t set out to audition hearts or be out here all in my feels. But here we are! As a woman who has been refined by the scorching fires of two divorces, I have realized that healing doesn't make your heart smaller—it makes it more discerning.
I look back at the years between those two endings, and I see three specific archetypes. These weren't just men; they were tutors who held up mirrors to my soul, helping me identify the high-caliber requirements I didn't know I was allowed to have.
It wasn't until my life was threatened that I found the boldness to move. I learned that staying isn't succeeding if you are being annihilated in the process. It is always, always okay to leave a table where love is no longer being served—even if you’re the one who set the place.
There is a specific kind of intoxication that comes when you re-enter the dating world with a healed heart. You’re feeling good, your body looking like tea, and your capacity for joy is wide open. But I had to learn a hard lesson recently: Just because a man has the charm to grab your attention doesn’t mean he has the integrity to hold your space.